Calmness is Better Than Having to Calm Down

… for calmness puts great offenses to rest. – Ecclesiastes 10.4 (CSB)

“Calm down.” 

These two words can cause two completely different reactions. Some hear those words and automatically get frustrated and defensive. Others hear those words and feel encouraged and helped, being reminded that everything will be ok. But how we respond to those words also depends on how people speak them. When they are spoken with arrogance and frustration, from a place of pride and presumed authority, people usually don’t appreciate them. But when they are spoken gently, with love and care dripping from each letter, during times of crisis and pain, people usually respond better.

The thing is that calmness doesn’t sell well in our culture. “Reality” shows or YouTube channels are not filled with people speaking calmly into the camera. Rather, they are filled with people who will “speak their mind,” choosing words that will shock and hurt instead of words that will comfort and heal. Haven’t we all bought into the idea that “the truth hurts”? Even many pulpits are filled with preachers who “speak the truth” while ignoring the call to lovingly shepherd those entrusted to their care while speaking the truth, resulting in being nothing more than a clanging and clamoring gong (1 Corinthians 13.1). Speaking one’s mind has become the preferred method. And I get it. Even when I’m teaching the Scriptures, I get pretty passionate about things. And I need to make sure that I’m not teaching in a way that gets me attention but instead brings God glory and draws people toward him and his righteousness. But being passionate can still be healing and helpful when it comes from a desire to usher in God’s heart. 

The Hebrew word for “calmness” in Ecclesiastes 10.4 is more profound than simply the state of being calm. 

• “Calmness” – gentleness; health; restoration; an absence of agitation or excitement; active in a manner that is gentle, mild, and even-tempered; one who heals; healing; remedy.

Calmness is healing. Calmness has a desire to bring about a remedy instead of setting new fires that destroy. To be calm is to be gentle, mild, and even-tempered. Some may read this and want to remind me that they aren’t “wired that way.” But how does that change what the Scriptures say about what is truly effective and better? The Scriptures aren’t given to us to apply the parts that agree with our personalities and then ignore the rest. The Scriptures are given to us so we come under their authority and obey them, resulting in our being changed into who God wants us to become in Christ. God speaks to us through the Scriptures to bring about encouragement as well as conviction, and that conviction is for our good. So, in light of this, let’s heed these words: “The calm words of the wise are heeded more than the shouts of a ruler over fools” (Ecclesiastes 9.17, CSB). 

But what is required to be calm? I can think of at least three things necessary for us to be calm.

First, we must truly believe that God is sovereign. And because God is sovereign, we can rest. God’s peace is available to us as we walk into any situation. I’m not saying that I don’t get scared and get frustrated. Of course, I do. But I don’t want to be driven by emotions not rooted in my faith in God’s sovereign ability. I want to be calm. I want to have such trust in my Father’s abilities that calmness is the starting point for me instead of having to calm down.

Second, we must have our identities rooted in Jesus. I usually get frustrated and take things personally when I forget that who I am is not based on my abilities or achievements. Who I am is not based on my insecurities or my need to be respected or appreciated or valued. Instead, because of Jesus, I am a child of God, forgiven and dearly loved. I am redeemed and cared for by my Father in heaven. I am his, and he is mine, and he has invited me to live according to his kingdom values and to be part of his mission here on earth. That truth should cause me to be calm.

And finally, we have to decide. We have to decide to want to be agents of healing instead of agents of hurt. We have to decide to be peacemakers. We have to decide to respond to things that come up with a desire to bring honor and glory to Jesus instead of defending our egos. We have to decide to be calm.

I don’t want to have to calm down constantly. I don’t want to need someone to remind me repeatedly to calm down as I face situations. Instead, I want to be calm. I want calmness to be the norm, not the exception. And how amazing is it that Jesus invites us to this? “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11.28-30, CSB). 

Our words matter. Our words have a lasting impact. But how we say things matters just as much. There are situations that come up that require urgency of tone to save people from getting hurt. And for those situations, get loud. But that shouldn’t be our modus operandi (method of operating). Calmness is the goal. Having a calmness that drenches our souls impacts how we perceive things, how we speak about things, how we approach God, and how we care for others. 

Calmness is better than having to calm down. 

O, God, please do your perfect work in me that I might live from the calmness of knowing that you are God and I am yours.